CD + Book stockists

Here are the places (so far) that you can buy a copy of the Bing Turkby Ensemble CD "Summon Forth the Mangonel", and the Turkby book "Tour Trouble":

The Turkby Bandcamp page has several different packages with combinations of the CD and book, plus other assorted stuff!
You can also get a digital download of the album there, if you don't want physical clutter in your tidy home.

Marbecks (Palmerston North, in the Plaza, pictured above) stock the CD and the book.

CDBaby.com can sell you the physical CD or a digital download of the album

Amazon.com has the book (and hopefully soon a Kindle version)

Update: free ebook version available here! Feedbooks.com has 'Tour Trouble' in ePub, MOBI (Kindle) and PDF formats.

TurkbyTone Rekkids has books and CDs listed on Trademe.co.nz too. Just search for "Turkby".

I'd like to thank everyone who has supported me and the band by buying a CD and/or book - we really appreciate it!

Too much excitement!

First up: I was driving behind a RAV4 vehicle the other day and I noticed the number plate was BTE276. TurkbyTone Rekkids would like to reward this proud supporter of the Bing Turkby Ensemble by offering them a free "Summon Forth the Mangonel" CD! So if you are the vehicle owner, get in touch with me (here) and I'll hook you up. Congratulations!

Yeah it's been an amazing week for me. I had so much stuff going on that I ended up getting sick with a cold and wasting half the week lying around watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force. (But is that really wasting time, or imbibing high culture? Hmmm...)

Thanks to the superhuman efforts of MacDeth and McBOOOM and three top-quality Palmy bands (The Nerines, Black Chrome and Neobreed), the Mangonel CD launch at the Royal was massive! A huge turnout, great performances, and there was even a cardboard home theatre system made by Slapskins to wow the punters. Thanks to all who came and had a good time!
Sadly I was having such a good time that I started to believe that my fabulous shiny robe was a good bulky winter coat. This was disproved the next morning when I immediately came down with a horrible cold. There's a lesson for me in there - don't believe your own hype. Luckily I had enough of my wits about me to remember that my cardboard helmet isn't strong enough to withstand an actual sword blow...
Anyway, I would go around wearing not much more than cardboard during one of Palmy's coldest ever days - first time I've ever actually seen snow coming down. Listening to it melt off the trees the next morning was strangely moving.
(Let's move on before I start to write haiku.)


On Friday we take our travelling circus to Marbecks in the Plaza. For those of you who don't live in Palmy, the Plaza is where you go to text your friends who are in the next shop over. And kids like to hang out there too. It's a real social hub, especially for those of us who aren't very outdoorsy. Marbecks CD store/bookshop/cafe is right on the corner of the Square, so everyone walking past will be drawn in by the subliminal messages hidden in McBOOOM's video display. Heh heh.
We will be erecting the guardtowers of the Castle Xanthros so people get a sense of occasion.
As with the previous gig, there will be a prize for best cardboard sword, so get crafting!
Remember, no REAL swords please!
This gig is an all-ages event, so bring your gran and she can kick out some raspberry jam with us.
The show goes from 6PM till 7PM, so don't be late! In fact you might have to get there early to get a seat where you can see the whole visual compendium.

I was mighty surprised and pleased to see that someone had not only bought a copy of my 'Tour Trouble' book on Amazon.com, but also written a review about it. By golly, it's a pretty freaky review. Then again, it does seem to capture the mood!

'Summon Forth the Mangonel' has officially been released at Bandcamp now, so the chocks are off and we're ready to fly! I've already been contacted by Bruce Willis, who wants to play me in the movie version of the CD. I told him I'd get back to him, but I lost his number.

I was thinking of retiring Vincent the Van and upgrading to Vincent the Second, but after a quick look at my bank account, Vinnie the 1st is looking really good after all! Maybe I will actually just start taking care of him better. I could buy him van treats and let him sleep in the lounge.

OK, off to perpetrate some cardboard construction.

By the power of the Sword of Xanthros, enjoy your day!

Bing

No chimpanzee fossils?

I attended a public lecture last night about evolution, mitochondria and some other things I didn't understand. I was actually only there to run the PA, so don't go thinking I know about this stuff. Anyway, the lecturer said that studying how humans evolved from chimpanzees is complicated by the fact that there are no chimpanzee fossils. (My research assistant Mr Franz Google tells me there have actually been some found, but only a few teeth. Very sketchy.)

Now, I know a cover-up conspiracy when I smell one. No chimpanzee fossils? Either someone has very carefully erased them, or Slartibartfast forgot to put them in, or – and I think this is the only logical conclusion – chimpanzees evolved from humans, not the other way around!

Yes, I think that humans are an evolutionary backwater, and the chimps are laughing at us because we haven't realised it yet, and we have just accidentally continued to exist.

So evolution now looks something like this:

Single-celled organisms – Nemo the clownfish – Axolotl – Some kind of hairy fishman – Neanderthals – Modern humans – Chimpanzees.

How about that, Science? Something to think about, for sure.

(Unless anyone out there knows someone with a complete, stolen chimpanzee fossil record in their garage..?)

By the way, this is not an advertisment for the new Planet of the Apes movie, it's pure coincidence.

Bing


Later that day..., some further thoughts:

After consultation with Slapskins McBOOOm, a further hypothesis is forming.

At most Bing Turkby Ensemble gigs there is a thumb-dancing competition. This involves members of the audience performing dance moves that showcase their thumbs.

Given that the latest BTE release “Summon Forth the Mangonel” tells of how the band use UFOs to travel back in time, it is possible that there is now no need to use chimpanzees as an evolutionary step.

Consider this: the Bing Turkby Ensemble travel back in time for a gig, performing in front of early land-based fish. A thumb-dancing competition ensues, the fish doing the best they can with fin-dancing. The BTE come back to present time. The audience of proto-humans takes the thumb-dancing innovation and runs with it. Over time, they form curled-up hands, and then start trying to thumb-dance with their feet. As they evolve, they develop the ability to climb trees and stuff. As much more time passes, they evolve into modern human form.

So, the evolution of modern human beings is obviously due to a trip back in time by the Bing Turkby Ensemble!

Unfortunately we now run into one of those ubiquitous time travel paradoxes.

But it's still the most elegant solution to the problem of the missing chimpanzee fossils...