Thursday, August 25, 2011

CD + Book stockists


Here are the places (so far) that you can buy a copy of the Bing Turkby Ensemble CD "Summon Forth the Mangonel", and the Turkby book "Tour Trouble":

The Turkby Bandcamp page has several different packages with combinations of the CD and book, plus other assorted stuff!
You can also get a digital download of the album there, if you don't want physical clutter in your tidy home.

Marbecks (Palmerston North, in the Plaza, pictured above) stock the CD and the book.

CDBaby.com can sell you the physical CD or a digital download of the album

Amazon.com has the book (and hopefully soon a Kindle version)

Update: free ebook version available here! Feedbooks.com has 'Tour Trouble' in ePub, MOBI (Kindle) and PDF formats.

TurkbyTone Rekkids has books and CDs listed on Trademe.co.nz too. Just search for "Turkby".

I'd like to thank everyone who has supported me and the band by buying a CD and/or book - we really appreciate it!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Too much excitement!

First up: I was driving behind a RAV4 vehicle the other day and I noticed the number plate was BTE276. TurkbyTone Rekkids would like to reward this proud supporter of the Bing Turkby Ensemble by offering them a free "Summon Forth the Mangonel" CD! So if you are the vehicle owner, get in touch with me (here) and I'll hook you up. Congratulations!


Yeah it's been an amazing week for me. I had so much stuff going on that I ended up getting sick with a cold and wasting half the week lying around watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force. (But is that really wasting time, or imbibing high culture? Hmmm...)

Thanks to the superhuman efforts of MacDeth and McBOOOM and three top-quality Palmy bands (The Nerines, Black Chrome and Neobreed), the Mangonel CD launch at the Royal was massive! A huge turnout, great performances, and there was even a cardboard home theatre system made by Slapskins to wow the punters. Thanks to all who came and had a good time!
Sadly I was having such a good time that I started to believe that my fabulous shiny robe was a good bulky winter coat. This was disproved the next morning when I immediately came down with a horrible cold. There's a lesson for me in there - don't believe your own hype. Luckily I had enough of my wits about me to remember that my cardboard helmet isn't strong enough to withstand an actual sword blow...
Anyway, I would go around wearing not much more than cardboard during one of Palmy's coldest ever days - first time I've ever actually seen snow coming down. Listening to it melt off the trees the next morning was strangely moving.
(Let's move on before I start to write haiku.)


On Friday we take our travelling circus to Marbecks in the Plaza. For those of you who don't live in Palmy, the Plaza is where you go to text your friends who are in the next shop over. And kids like to hang out there too. It's a real social hub, especially for those of us who aren't very outdoorsy. Marbecks CD store/bookshop/cafe is right on the corner of the Square, so everyone walking past will be drawn in by the subliminal messages hidden in McBOOOM's video display. Heh heh.
We will be erecting the guardtowers of the Castle Xanthros so people get a sense of occasion.
As with the previous gig, there will be a prize for best cardboard sword, so get crafting!
Remember, no REAL swords please!
This gig is an all-ages event, so bring your gran and she can kick out some raspberry jam with us.
The show goes from 6PM till 7PM, so don't be late! In fact you might have to get there early to get a seat where you can see the whole visual compendium.

I was mighty surprised and pleased to see that someone had not only bought a copy of my 'Tour Trouble' book on Amazon.com, but also written a review about it. By golly, it's a pretty freaky review. Then again, it does seem to capture the mood!

'Summon Forth the Mangonel' has officially been released at Bandcamp now, so the chocks are off and we're ready to fly! I've already been contacted by Bruce Willis, who wants to play me in the movie version of the CD. I told him I'd get back to him, but I lost his number.

I was thinking of retiring Vincent the Van and upgrading to Vincent the Second, but after a quick look at my bank account, Vinnie the 1st is looking really good after all! Maybe I will actually just start taking care of him better. I could buy him van treats and let him sleep in the lounge.

OK, off to perpetrate some cardboard construction.

By the power of the Sword of Xanthros, enjoy your day!

Bing

Thursday, August 4, 2011

No chimpanzee fossils?


I attended a public lecture last night about evolution, mitochondria and some other things I didn't understand. I was actually only there to run the PA, so don't go thinking I know about this stuff. Anyway, the lecturer said that studying how humans evolved from chimpanzees is complicated by the fact that there are no chimpanzee fossils. (My research assistant Mr Franz Google tells me there have actually been some found, but only a few teeth. Very sketchy.)
Now, I know a cover-up conspiracy when I smell one. No chimpanzee fossils? Either someone has very carefully erased them, or Slartibartfast forgot to put them in, or – and I think this is the only logical conclusion – chimpanzees evolved from humans, not the other way around!
Yes, I think that humans are an evolutionary backwater, and the chimps are laughing at us because we haven't realised it yet, and we have just accidentally continued to exist.

So evolution now looks something like this:
Single-celled organisms – Nemo the clownfish – Axolotl – Some kind of hairy fishman – Neanderthals – Modern humans – Chimpanzees.

How about that, Science? Something to think about, for sure.
(Unless anyone out there knows someone with a complete, stolen chimpanzee fossil record in their garage..?)

By the way, this is not an advertisment for the new Planet of the Apes movie, it's pure coincidence.
Bing


Later that day..., some further thoughts:


After consultation with Slapskins McBOOOm, a further hypothesis is forming.
At most Bing Turkby Ensemble gigs there is a thumb-dancing competition. This involves members of the audience performing dance moves that showcase their thumbs.
Given that the latest BTE release “Summon Forth the Mangonel” tells of how the band use UFOs to travel back in time, it is possible that there is now no need to use chimpanzees as an evolutionary step.
Consider this: the Bing Turkby Ensemble travel back in time for a gig, performing in front of early land-based fish. A thumb-dancing competition ensues, the fish doing the best they can with fin-dancing. The BTE come back to present time. The audience of proto-humans takes the thumb-dancing innovation and runs with it. Over time, they form curled-up hands, and then start trying to thumb-dance with their feet. As they evolve, they develop the ability to climb trees and stuff. As much more time passes, they evolve into modern human form.
So, the evolution of modern human beings is obviously due to a trip back in time by the Bing Turkby Ensemble!
Unfortunately we now run into one of those ubiquitous time travel paradoxes.
But it's still the most elegant solution to the problem of the missing chimpanzee fossils...

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Fender Pawn Shop '72 guitar review

Yee-har! My new baby finally arrived in the country last week. It's a Fender Pawn Shop '72 (yes, spelled P-A-W-N). Mine is called Loriel the Sorceress. She will bewitch you with her groovy tone.

About 6 months ago I was having a deeply philosophical discussion with my long-suffering bandmates MacDeth and McBOOOm about dream guitars. Not guitars you play in dreams, but guitars you would design if you had the chance. I decided I would make one with a Stratocaster body, but with an F-hole, which is something you don't see on Fender Strats. I'd have a neck like the one on my Telecaster, and I'd have two humbuckers. I would also prefer a hardtail bridge (ie. no tremelo arm), because I go out of tune enough as it is, and I don't have the patience to set up a Floyd Rose.

The people at Fender Japan must have heard me (and translated my speech into Japanese), because shortly afterwards they announced they'd be making this guitar, which has all the stuff I asked for! Another cool feature is that it has no tone control. The knobs you see are for volume and pickup blend. So essentially you get your tone control by mixing between the neck pickup and the bridge pickup.
As soon as I heard about the production of this beauty I went and ordered one at the local Rockshop. And voila, a couple of months later, here it is!

Over that waiting period I had plenty of time to wonder if the guitar would actually be any good when it arrived. Thank goodness, the first time I picked it up it just absolutely sang! It's a total joy to play, especially if you like a slim neck. I had thought it would be kinda chunky, but it's actually very slim.

The finish is as good as you would expect from a Japanese Fender - ie. marvellous. No sharp fret ends, the action is nice and low (the way I like it!), the frets are nicely polished, the pickups are correctly positioned (you know how some guitars look like they've been put together by a Dadaist construction team...), the paintwork is flawless, and so on.

The pickups have been well-chosen, and the sounds you can get are pretty varied. The neck pickup sounds great for high-gain solos, or just as nice doing clean chords. Fender's "Wide-Range" humbucker is juicy and bell-like, and surprisingly similar to the neck pickup on my Telecaster. Just with a bit more grunt. So it actually works nicely for clean (or slightly overdriven) country/rock too.
The "Enforcer" bridge pickup is obviously designed for rock riffery, judging by the name, but it can also be used for a different kind of clean tone, especially if you back off the volume a bit - it softens the attack somewhat. I'm mostly using it for high-gain rhythm chords (the string definition is good) and some good ol' rowdy palm muting.
Considering how different in character these two pickups are, it's pretty amazing how well they work together, and the output balance is spot on, so if you go from one to the other there's no massive change in volume.

The sustain is Tufnel-esque (meaning: really good), and the guitar is nice and light, so you can sling it round like an eejit onstage!
The F-hole doesn't make a hugely significant addition to the tone as far as I can tell, and peering inside you can see that it's not as hollowed-out as a Gibson 335, for example, but I would imagine that when you play through a loud amp it would really add some resonance. Plus it looks great. I was hoping they would offer a pie shape because I think a pie-hole would be cool. No luck so far.

I like my unusual guitars to look a little odd, so I went for the "Foam Green" version. You can get it in sunburst as well, but it looks a little too normal to me...

So if you want something a little unusual, that's great for rock, this beast could be the one for you, especially if you want a Gibson twin-humbucker kind of drive but prefer the feel of a Stratocaster.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Summon Forth the Mangonel! CD + Book press release


In a world first for a rock band, the Bing Turkby Ensemble are releasing a concept album, a fantasy novella to go with it, and a set of collectable trading cards!

Yep, Jim K, the manager of the Bing Turkby Ensemble, has finally phoned in from a jacuzzi in Ulan Bataar and set a release date for the new BTE album.
"Summon Forth the Mangonel" will be released into the wild at the Royal in Palmerston North on Saturday August 13th, 2011.

This album has been meticulously crafted at HotBox studios, and is one of the most anticipated TurkbyTone Rekkids releases of the year!
The album follows the BTE in their spiritual quest for the Sword of Xanthros; travelling through time and space, overcoming adversity and ultimately triumphing.
The fantastic artwork has been crafted by Hayden Lauridsen, and includes 4 spectacular trading cards featuring members of the BTE.

For you literary types, Bing has written a book to accompany the album. It's a 20,000-word action/fantasy/comedy/stupidity novelette called"Tour Trouble", featuring the BTE members and sundry henchmen, mages and bakers. See a preview here:

The rock-tastic Midnight Switch will be joining us for the release gig.
The stage will be decked out as a medieval castle, and certain parts of the concept album will be played out for your enjoyment.

You can listen to tracks and pre-order the album and book at http://turkby.bandcamp.com
Discover other TurkbyTone releases at http://turkby.co.nz


Album+Book release gig:
The Royal, Palmerston North, Aug. 13th 2011.
Doors open at 8:30PM, show starts at 9PM.
$5 entry, or $15 with CD.
Prize for best medieval knight-style getup, and best cardboard sword!


Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Freddy The Wonder Fish


Freddy the Wonder Fish performed another amazing feat on the weekend. He's a goldfish who lives in a big bowl near our front door. A while ago he leaped out of his bowl (I didn't even know goldfish could do that!) and we found him lying on his side in a shallow pool of water. I thought he was dead, but when I looked closer, his little gills and mouth were moving – he was saying “get me the hell back in the bowl!” So I put him back in and he was right as rain.
We should have put some kind of barrier in place, but I thought it was a completely freakish occurrence which would never be repeated. Well, on the weekend he jumped out again. But this time he wasn't so clever, and he landed on some dirt. By the time we found him he was looking dead and gone. The flies were starting to come and have a look. I put him back in the bowl just in case. He had dirt all over him. It was pretty sad. He lay on his side in the bowl, rather than topside up. He gave a weak flap of his fins every few seconds but I thought that it would be all over within an hour. But as we kept checking back on him, he got stronger and stronger. After an hour he was weakly swimming around his bowl, especially after my missus gave him a gentle nudge of the tail (his, not hers) to get him properly underwater again. He was still covered in dirt and looking like a zombie goldfish from one of those zombie goldfish movies. You know the ones.
I wished he was a cat, or another animal you could pick up and wipe down! We gave him a bit of food and crossed our fingers that he'd survive the night.
Well, not only was he still going in the morning, he had somehow managed to clean himself up. He was looking pretty fit actually. In fact, he seemed to be already planning his next “extreme goldfish sports” stunt. I hope he gives it up – I can't take the stress. Next weekend we'll be putting up some netting, spotlights and a goldfish guard tower. It's for his own good.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Feelin' good - website makeover


"It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life..." for the TurkbyTone Rekkids website, as a famous woman once sang.
Jim K. got the highly skilled team at Eyesis Design to give the TTR website a makeover.
Holding them captive with the Sword of Xanthros, he fed them nothing but instant noodles until they did his bidding. And I think you'll agree with me that the result was worth it.
I'm very proud to be able to introduce to you, the new, the shiny, the easy-to-navigate TurkbyTone Rekkids website!
Not only will you find all the latest and greatest info pertaining to the Bing Turkby Ensemble, you can now go to the Artists page and see the unfortunate souls who have signed their walruses away to Jim Keltnenhausen. So far you can see Dirt Box Charlie and Venus Vulture, but keep checking back because there are more coming.
Yes, Jim can be pretty persuasive...

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Dirty ol' rock'n'roll DVD reviews

AC/DC Live at River Plate DVD

I indulged my inner bogan a little while ago and went to see AC/DC play when they were in Wellington, as part of the Black Ice tour. I expected to enjoy the show, because I've always been a big fan, but I've seen enough old heroes in concert recently to know sometimes it's impossible for them to live up to nostalgic expectations. Well that show ended up being the best one I've ever seen. And I say that even though I prefer Bon Scott-era AC/DC to Brian Johnson-era. Sadly, Bon was unavailable again (RIP, Bon!) but Johnson did an excellent job of filling in, and their new stuff absolutely rocks in a live setting.

So when they announced a DVD I thought it would be a good memento of that experience. Once again they exceeded my expectations! I've never seen such an impressive concert DVD. Not only is the crowd enormous, they are ALL going absolutely nuts! Kinda different from the reserved nature of a Kiwi crowd...
And the AC/DC stage show is chock full of rock tropes and big-budget effects - just the kind of stuff that gets a stadium going.
Honestly, if you know someone who likes rock and doesn't get into AC/DC, you should show them this video. If they can get past Johnson's screech and the excessive lad-ism, and appreciate the solid groove of Rudd, Williams, Young and Young, they'll be a convert. Or at the very least they'll be blown away by the Argentinian crowd!

It was great that the people who put the package together managed to give sonic space to both Young brothers. I've long been a fan of Malcolm - and Angus as well, of course! But Malcolm is my role model for rhythm guitar playing. So it's great to still be able to hear him even though Angus is mixed to the forefront. Malcolm and Angus play in sync so well they wisely have been panned, one left and one right, so you can hear them both.
When I was in my early teens, some kids at school were learning music, and they would put down bands like AC/DC because they were so musically simple. But I know that 'simple' doesn't equal 'easy'. I really appreciate the way that Phil Rudd and Cliff Williams make rock-solid groove look effortless. Well, OK, Rudd looks like he's hammering nails into a piece of wood, but you get my drift. And to keep up that kind of effort for the length of an AC/DC gig is quite an achievement.
So, twelve stars out of eleven for this DVD.
Click the link at the top to see it at MightyApe.co.nz, or below for Region 1 styles.
















Heaven & Hell: Neon Knights Live at Wacken

A few weeks after that bogan warm-up, I happened to hear a few minutes of the CD of Heaven & Hell live at Wacken. It seemed to be the kind of stuff I like to listen to, so I bought the DVD so I could see what the band was like onstage.
I have all the Ozzy-era Black Sabbath albums on vinyl, but for some reason I never ventured into the Dio stuff. Being late to all the cool discoveries, I finally realised what Dio brought to the band: a little more showmanship, a more ballad-based kind of singing, and heaps of swords-and-sorcery style lyrics. All of the stuff I like, in short.
Added to Iommi's classic riffery and Geezer's grinding basslines, it's good old-fashioned headbangery. Nice.
Vinnie Appice seems like a great drummer, but building yourself a cage of toms has the potential to make you look like a bit of a dick, frankly. Still, if I had the opportunity, I suspect I would do it too. A man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a roadie for? As the old saying goes.
I've always loved Geezer Butler's bass tone, his distinctive attack, and of course let's not forget, this is the guy who wrote most of early Sabbath's doom-laden lyrics. Great to see him paired up with Iommi again, doing the old business.
I had to reset my expectations for this after watching the AC/DC DVD, because apart from Dio's onstage capering, the only showmanship on display is the odd raised arm from Tony Iommi, and Appice's over-the-top drum solo, which, as mentioned, might not be the kind of thing that floats your boat.
Also, compared to the River Plate crowd, the Wacken one seemed positively restrained. Luckily, after leaving it for a week or so, I was able to re-watch it with fresh eyes and see that the crowd was actually pretty massive, and very enthusiastic. As with the AC/DC video, the producers of the Heaven & Hell one take the opportunity to show the crowd quite a lot. In both cases, you still see enough of the band, and the crowd shots help to convey the excitement of being there. With both DVDs, you get some good closeups of the band so that trainspotters like me can try to figure out the chords to the cool parts, and try to imagine what the lead guitarist is thinking as he looks out at thousands of crazed punters waiting for him to blow their minds...
Because I've seen interviews with Tony Iommi before, it's hard not to imagine him playing a heinously downtuned powerchord through a wall of Laneys, and thinking "cor blimey, this is good fun." He looks as though he appreciates how far he has come, and the fact that he gets to rock for a living. I like that.
Recommended.
Eleven stars out of ten.
See it at Mightyape.co.nz here, or Amazon below.














Keep it rowdy.
Bing

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Anti-boy-racer


I saw a mature gentleman cruising slowly down the street in his late-model car, pumping out a café-guitar version of “Nights in White Satin” at 7:50AM this morning.
Take the power back, brother! Only a few hours earlier that same street would have been occupied by kids in their expensively restored cheap cars, pumping out massive basslines.
Palmy – land of contrasts!
My favourite driving song at the moment is probably 'I want it more' by Ozzy Osbourne. You can't beat good old-fashioned rowdiness when you're cruising in a 1989 Mitsi L300 van...




Monday, May 23, 2011

Acoustic Dirt

Here's a grainy cellphone photo of Dirt Box Charlie performing their first all-acoustic show. It was for the Palmerston North City Library's NZ Music Month gig series, and was an absolutely fantastic set!
Hayden adapted himself to djembe, tambourine and kick drum; Mike moved seamlessly to double bass and acoustic bass guitar; Chris went all Tommy Emmanuel on his Maton guitar; and Brandon glided (glode?) on top with silky sax lines.
Plugged in or not, Dirt Box Charlie bring the funky blues to you in style.

Free downloads for NZ Music Month
Remember that at TurkbyTone Rekkids, we're celebrating NZ Music Month by putting rare old Bing Turkby albums up for free download at turkby.bandcamp.com.
They have been posted as "Pay what you like", which means you can take them for free, or make a donation to the "save the BTE" fund, whatever you prefer. So when you go to download, you'll see a message asking how much you want to pay. If you enter "0", the payment thing disappears and it'll let you download for free. Don't worry - it won't force you to pay anything!
After May there will probably be some rotating free downloads, but nothing on this scale, so get in now if you're thinking about it!
So far the first three albums are up there, as well as the uber-rare "Sword of Xanthros", the song that inspired pretty much everything else I've done since. Thematically, anyway...


Turkby tour diary
Speaking of which, I'm back to working on a novel, which has lain untouched and unfinished for many years. It started as a tour diary, but as it went along, more and more things got made up, so now it's a novel, featuring: the Sword of Xanthros, a walrus polisher, rancid yak butter tea, geomorphic immunity, and more! Tentative title: A Turkby tour diary. Or maybe The Sword of Xanthros. Or What Goes Up Must Come Down.
Once it's in a slightly more polished state, chapters will be made available online for you to deride in the comfort of your own home.

OK compadres, thanks for your time.
Now go play your guitar.
Bing

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Shufferin' and shavin', Free downloads, etc.

Using a new razor blade can be tricky. After using an old one for ages it's too easy to cut yourself with a new one. Jim K promises that once I've written a hit song, he'll hire someone to take the first shave for me. Seems like a good solution.

In continuation of May's NZ Music Month madness, I've just posted the album "Have You Seen Me Vanquishing People Lately" for free download at http://turkby.bandcamp.com/.
This quirky beast dates from 1999, and should probably carry a warning like "May cause disorientation".
Enjoy!
Remember, all the old Turkby albums are free to download during May, after which they'll skyrocket to a shocking $5 or so probably. Get in quick or get used to rueing the day.

Hayden from Dirt Box Charlie is doing AMAZING stuff with designing the cover and booklet for the Bing Turkby Ensemble's 'Summon Forth The Mangonel' CD! I really really want to show you some stuff, but it ain't quite done yet, and I don't want to spoil the surprise!

I'm also in the editing stage of my story/book/not-quite-a-novel. The hardest part now is thinking of a title for it.
And also reading Jasper Fforde's "The Last Dragonslayer" and feeling inadequate...
Oh well, keep on chooglin'.
Bing

Monday, May 2, 2011

44th Manawatu Jazz Festival

I'm privileged to have been asked to play bass with Erna Ferry and Shufti for the 2011 Manawatu Jazz Festival cafe gigs. We have one gig in Feilding and one in Palmerston North.
Here's the lineup, with Shufti gigs in large font.
Hit the button with the 4 arrows in it (top right of document) to view it full-screen so it's easier to read!
Jazz Festival cafe gigs

Friday, April 29, 2011

Jason Devlin at Te Manawa re-opening

One of TurkbyTone Rekkids' recent signings, Jason Devlin, was pumping out classic rock riffery with his new band at the re-opening of Palmerston North's Te Manawa museum/gallery complex on April 30th. It was great to see local good-time rock bands getting a chance to present their wares to a local audience on a sunny day! Stay tuned for details of Jason's CD, which is being recorded now. Right now. Yep, as you're reading this. Oh wait, I think he's stopped for dinner. Now he's recording again. Cool.

Speaking of which, I have on my computer 8 of the completed songs for the Bing Turkby Ensemble CD Summon Forth The Mangonel! Now that it's all coming together and I can hear the songs in a row it's really rather exciting. Not only that, I've been working on cover artwork! I wish I could show you but Jim K would kick me in the gluteus maximus and that would be sad.
You'll just have to content yourselves with grabbing a free download of one of my old albums. How about The Bing Turkby Ensemble meets Moslem Sa? A classic from the vaults, featuring old singalong favourites like Baby's Drinking Whiskey and Oil Tanker, in their original forms.

Edit: I've just realised it was on Bandcamp for $5 - now it's "Name Your Price", so you can pay whatever you like, or download it for free. Sorry for the mixup - I'll call Jim K now and tell him of my displeasure.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Archival project

Howdy!
Since a lot of the old Turkby CDs are no longer available, TurkbyTone Rekkids is undertaking a digital archives project. Over the next few months you'll see all of Bing's oldest releases becoming available at http://turkby.bandcamp.com.
To make up for the fact that you can no longer get 'em in physical format, the downloads are on a "pay what you want" basis, so if you just want to try a song out, go for it! You can decide how much you'd like to pay, or take it for free - no pressure!

So I've had my last gig playing acoustic bass with The Passengers covers band, and a lot of people have asked what I'll be doing now. Well, two people have asked. And one of them looked like he was expecting me to say "nothing"...
But actually I do have some things planned, and you'll be among the first to know about it when I start announcing stuff! Remember, it's TurkbyTone Rekkids' 15th anniversary this year, so it will be marked appropriately. And aside from that I have a few things up my sleeve that I'll shake loose eventually.

Keep watching this channel!
Bing

Friday, April 8, 2011

Free shopping!

Those of you who heard the BTE interview on Access Manawatu the other day will have been taken on a trip down memory lane, as the song "The Shop : An Opera in 2 Bits" was played. This is a pretty strange old track and one that has even been performed as a play in front of an audience of tens.
To help you relive the magic, TurkbyTone Rekkids has agreed to make the track available for free download, for a limited time (maybe a year? You never know with Jim K.)
Fill yer boots by clicking here to get it from Bandcamp.

I've also got it for free at CDBaby
I've never done free tracks through CDBaby before, so have a go and tell me how you get on!

Cheers to the Zornians for organising the gig at the Cabana in Napier last night. A few enthusiastic supporters turned up, and one happy punter walked away with the thumb-dancing prize of a lovely piece of tacky vinyl. Cheers to Roy and co. for having us.

The recording gear from Hotbox Studios has come back from repair this week (aka Slapskins McBOOOm's Macbook) so it's entirely possible that our mammoth recording stint is finally over. Once we've added in a ton of interludes and designed a suitably Turkby-esque cover, you'll be able to enjoy the new sounds of the newest incarnation of the Bing Turkby Ensemble in your living room, lavatory or laboratory.

I've just reviewed Matt Langley's album Featherbones for the New Zealand Musician magazine.
Here's an excerpt: Matt Langley is a one-man Wilco. 'Featherbones' is part Country Honk, part Chris Isaak, and all extremely catchy.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

TextToaster

The mad scientist Jim Keltnenhausen has come up with a great new invention - the TextToaster!
A toaster that receives your cellphone text messages then burns them into a piece of bread! Mmmm... yummy messages.
I can see this being quite a money-spinner for TurkbyTone Rekkids.
The TurkbyTone TextToaster - tasty treats that are good enough to read.
I'm not sure if we'll have that ready before our gig with Zorn at the Cabana in Napier on Friday (see details) so you might have to wait a little while, but you'll know it's ready when you go to breakfast one morning and a message pops up!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Latest signing - Dirt Box Charlie!

TurkbyTone is stokingly proud to be able to announce the signing of Palmy’s blues/jazz/rock/funk powerhouse Dirt Box Charlie! DBC join the T-Tone fold on the cusp of the release of their debut EP. The launch is being held at the Celtic Inn in Palmerston North on Saturday April the 9th from 9-12PM. It’s free entry and the EPs will be on sale for $15. They will sell out quick! So get down there and be part of this historic occasion. Dirt Box Charlie is one of Palmy’s most well-known and well-loved bands. They’ve been playing high-profile gigs almost from their inception. They might look young but their musical pedigree is impressive and they play their funky blues with authority. The official website is at www.dirtboxcharlie.com, you’ll soon see more info at http://turkby.co.nz/, and in short order you’ll also be able to get the album at iTunes and CDBaby.com.

Monday, February 14, 2011

'Rango' CD warning

This is probably my favourite warning written on a CD. It’s a CD by Rango, a Cairo-based band who play music that originated in Sudan, using a “190-year-old rango xylophone with spirit-manifesting gourd resonators”.


The back of the CD says “No chickens were harmed and no malevolent spirits manifested during the making of this album.” And “Illegal file sharing and unscrupulous downloading will, on the balance of probability, jeopardise your future enjoyment of Rango and enrage the Sudani spirits & other entities that reside in the vintage gourd resonators. Do it at your own risk. We did warn you.”

That is classic.

My ‘Backless Special’ guitar is made of wood taken from the woodshed at the back of our old house, it’s probably full of spiritual resonances too. So be careful if you file-share Turkby songs too, OK?

The BTE is putting the finishing touches on the Summon Forth the Mangonel album this month and next. Like a particularly difficult childbirth, we’ll all be looking forward to having it out in the world instead of kicking in our guts all the time. It will be the most beautiful album in the world to us, but you might think it’s a bit ugly. Be gentle with us, the gestation has been long and we’re all on edge. Seriously though, you better like it or else Jim K will be mad.

See you at the Jousting on the weekend.

Many pieces of love to you.

Bingo

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Lost in trans-Tasman translation

Sometimes Australian English can leave you with the wrong impression.
I've just seen an old Heath Ledger movie described thusly:
"If you want Goodfellas in thongs, see Two Hands!"
Now I haven't seen this movie but I assume they're wearing trousers for most of it, so you can't tell if they're wearing thongs or big ol' grundies.
Or maybe not...?
Bingo
PS. We had an awesome gig in the Square last week.
You can see some photos on Faceplantbook.
I'll ask TurkbyTone Rekkids' Tech dept to make a link, I can't figure that stuff out...

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Wind sculpture in Palmy

A lot of people get windshitty when the weather is gusty, but there's at least one thing which enjoys it: this wind sculpture between the City Library and the Convention Centre.
It's called United-Divided, and was made by Phil Price.
I was waiting outside the Convention Centre and thought I'd try out the video capture on my new (cheap) phone. Results: nicely average.

Bing doesn't cheat - he does his own work

There have been some crazy things written about Bing Turkby over the years, but I just saw this and it made me a little angry:
"Google has run a sting operation that it says proves Bing has been watching what people search for on Google, the sites they select from Google's results, then uses that information to improve Bing's own search listings. Bing doesn't deny this."
Well, in fact I DO deny this. I have never copied Google and used it's information as my own, and I always give credit when I use someone else's work.
So I refute Google's assertion, but it appears they've confused me with some upstart company (Microsop or something) that is using my name! . So I think they might be the real target of Google's wrath. Looks like Jim K's gonna have to call in the lawyers and ask them to desist from using the name Bing.

See the original article at Searchengineland.com.
(See, I do give credit where it's due...)

Friday, January 14, 2011

First Turkby gig of the year - in the Square!

The easily-bribed people at Access Manawatu have decided to let the Bing Turkby Ensemble play as part of the Summer Concert series again - sweeeeeet!
The concerts will once again be held in Palmy's Square, open to everybody, no charge.
We're pencilled in for Friday, February 18th at 12 noon.
The thumb-dancing prize will be pretty stupendous, believe me.
More details as we make them up. I mean, as they come to hand.

Jim K has just texted me from Novograd where he is sheep-skiing. That's a new extreme sport, where you tie sheep to your feet and then scare them. He is apparently the reigning champion at this sport.
Stay tuned for footage of his escapades.

Rock-a-lula.
Bing

Saturday, January 8, 2011

The year ahead, Turkby-style

Howdy all, and Happy New Year!
Pretty soon the Bing Turkby Ensemble band members will have returned from their various holiday spots, like Mykonos, Mongolia and Kyrgyzstan. That means we can finish up the recording of 'Summon Forth The Mangonel' and get it shipped, shopped and straight to the top of the charts.
To use a pretty stupid metaphor, we have completed the base of the cheesecake, and most of the filling, so it's really just the zesty berry-flavoured topping to finish now. We have the design skills of the House of Ash working on a cover, and Jim Keltnenhausen has written 25 pages of liner notes, and that's just his introduction. He likes the sound of his own word-processed voice, that guy.
Once it's ready we'll probably have a stupendous launch party for it. I'm thinking of petitioning the government for a Turkby Day parade, where everyone gets the day off (paid), and we can have floats, merry-go-rounds, public stupidity, etc.

In other related-to-the-band news, the Heavy Blarney album should be on the shelves of the Palmy branch of JB Hifi really soon. Massive ups to Olly for organising that for us!

Plus you might see various Ensemble members slumming it with covers bands throughout the year. There'll be a gig calendar for the Passengers soon over at passengersnz.blogspot.com so you can keep up with what Bing, MacDeth and ex-BTE guy The Hungarian Thunder are up to.

Thanks for making 2010 an awesome year for the BTE, we'll make sure we have some great stuff for you to take part in during 2011!
Tote that bale,
Bing